My belt and watch have made it through the old scanners on my body without a hitch ever since 9/11; now they must come off. I am allowed to carry my wallet in my hand for the new scan but if I do so it is subject to an automatic secondary search. Non-metal objects such as lip balm must now come out of my pocket along with my computer, liquids, shoes, etc. It only adds a couple of extra minutes to retrieve and rewardrobe that which formerly remained on my person but I can see this backing up security significantly at busy times.

If the terrorists’ aim is economic as well as physical damage, they must consider these new scanners a success. They are expensive to install and will bolux up air travel yet further.

However, we seem to like tangible equipment — we can see it and touch it. It’s likely designed or built in someone’s Congressional district. The Israelis have long shown that behavioral targeting is the most efficient and effective preventative measure yet we seem reticent to adopt it widely (though I did experience a bit of it when in NOLA recently).

But, once again, we are engaged in another act of expensive security theater — and we business travelers are the comic relief in the performance.

They had lots of good explanations: passengers bring too much into the cabin because checking bags now costs money (and, largely left unsaid, they want to put cargo in the belly because it is more profitable), the high cost of fuel, where else would you expect cargo to fly free, passengers pack too much (Do I get a discount if I fly naked?), etc. All true — but I say “baloney.” It demonstrates to me how broken the basic airfare pricing model is and how dysfunctional our general infatuation with low prices has made us. This starts out being touted as an attempt to change customer behavior but winds up being an addictive revenue stream (see, “Fees, credit cards”). They don’t really want to change behavior; they want to charge you as much as they can.

As an airline passenger, I expect that a reasonable amount of luggage to travel with me as part of the cost of a ticket. There are size restrictions on carry-ons set by the FAA — enforce them and people won’t bring too much onto the plane. The airline should be able to calculate the weight that the average passenger brings on board and integrate that cost into the ticket. Unless you are traveling in your skivvies and tucking your toothbrush into the waistband, chances are that the super-cheap ticket really won’t be in the end.

Spirit does position itself as a no-frills carrier and they are free to do as they please. I, in turn, am free not to fly with them which I can assure you (and them) I won’t. Fees and cost-cutting schemes, however, tend to attract imitators. Service levels and amenities on the so-called full-service airlines have been in full retreat for almost a decade and I’m in no rush to see flying get any less enjoyable. I don’t want to need a detailed, itemized receipt for each flight — seat cushion: $22.50, armrests: $18.95, etc.

The industry has trained us to expect fares that are lower than the cost to fly us from point A to point B (they try to make it up on business and first-class fares and those endearing fees and extras). That’s a really dumb business model and the fact that most airlines are in rough financial shape is evidence of that. They should worry less about nickel-and-diming us and more about how hard it is to find someone who describes flying as “pleasant,” “fun,” or “something to look forward to.” Southwest and JetBlue are doing a pretty good job of that and still keep costs low, but the others seem to do all they can to make a flight something to endure rather than enjoy.

Later in the week I’ll be posting on how to pack like a Nomad so you can travel lighter and still look great. That should make Spirit’s CEO happy. Until then, how’s that high speed rail coming?

If New Zealand is on your itinerary (and I sorely wish that it was on mine), you’ll be delighted to learn about the new skycouches that Air New Zealand is offering in coach. Not only do they turn three seats into a single bed-like arrangement but a second panel pops from the footrest area to give the skycouch room for two. They call it “cuddle class.” It may be a bit public to qualify as an entry point for the Mile High Club but we are talking about business travel here, not pleasure. Still, the ability to stretch out and have something close to a real bed is a welcome innovation.

Meanwhile over at the New York Times, Joe Sharkey has recently revisited the topic of exit row seats. They are, of course, highly desirable thanks to the few inches of extra leg-room that they offer and so many airlines have begun selling them as mini-upgrades.  As Sharkey reports, “In the third quarter of 2009, the top 10 domestic airlines raised an extra $1.95 billion from fees for things like checking bags and allowing passengers to change reservations, the Bureau of Transportation Statistics has reported.”

Sharkey raises the safety issue: these seats do require that those who sit in them assist the flight crew in case of emergency. A willingness to shell out a few more bucks does not guarantee that you have the ability to wrangle the 35 – 40 lb. hatch or take on other necessary duties. That is why this Nomad has long advocated a certification program that would qualify one for preferred seating in an exit row because one would have obtained the skills necessary to assist. Passengers would pay to attend this course, thus providing some income to the airlines if they offered it or the FAA, and would get some hands-on experience deploying emergency chutes and the like. The certification could be good for a year or two and would enhance the safety of the flight.

Annoying to this 6’3″ traveler is the new practice of requiring an upcharge to even sit in some aisle seats. For the long-legged among us, an aisle seat is the one chance to make a flight free of leg cramps. I’ve long relied on SeatGuru as a basic guide to seat configurations (Joe Sharkey recently interviewed SeatGuru’s founder) though it is getting more difficult with the ever-changing policies of the various airlines.

One proposed innovations that promises to bring more comfort is a bunk bed set-up in business class. The design, offered by Boston-based Jacobs Innovations and reported by The Economist, aims to provide greater flexibility in cabin configurations by allowing business-class space to transformed into economy on demand. I can just see it happening after I’ve scored an upgrade: “Sorry, sir, we’re converting this row back to steerage.”

I’m on JetBlue this week and they tend to offer a fairly comfortable experience. I’ll be sure to report upon my return. Until then, cuddle up — and share your airline seat tips with your fellow Nomads.

Delta’s service is provided by GoGo. I found the log-in process a bit cumbersome in part because of a game they offer through which one is guaranteed a discount on the session. One bets on one of three whirly gigs that race to 35,000 feet. I chose “news” which finished last — great, my first experience on GoGo is that I’m a loser — but I did get a consolation prize of a 25% discount that dropped the cost of my one-time pass from $9.95 to under $8. The whole process, including the game, burned about six minutes of battery time. It will be faster in the future as I had to create an account on this my inaugural visit.

It took seven tries to log into Executive Nomad’s admin page but things seem to be going well now. I’ll check e-mail shortly and report back in a comment. I was able to open a second browser window and download the stock photo that appears with this post in about the same amount of time time it takes on the ground.

The biggest complaint is not with GoGo but with Delta. As I am still a man of the people, I am in coach and that is a cramped place to be on an MD88. My small laptop can barely balance on tray table and my arms are cramped as I type.

I’m sure that I’ll grow to love in-flight wifi though I may still choose to say that it was unavailable on my flight if I’m more attracted to a good book. And speaking of which, Walter Kiechel’s new look inside corporate strategy as practiced by the big consulting firms, The Lords of Strategy, is in my bag and I’ll be tucking into it as soon as I log off.

Now as long as I can avoid cell phone service…

What is your experience with in-flight wifi? Love it? Hate it? Your fellow Nomads want to know.

We need to learn from the Israelis and engage in greater behavioral screening (which is not racial profiling). Terrorists’ methods will change as they adapt to our defensive measures. What remains much more constant, however, are the wiring of the human brain, the body’s reactions to stress, and the signals that reveal someone is lying or being deceitful. Teaching airport security personnel to identify the behavioral cues consistent with illegal activity will be far more effective than investing in another generation of super scanners. New scanners and other technologies should be deployed randomly to keep terrorists guessing but universal deployment is a waste of time and money. The “thing” will never be foolproof and under-investing in human capabilities in order to buy more machines is short-sighted at best.

Further, we the traveling public must take seriously the role we have as first preventers and first responders. It was passengers who saved the Northwest flight and any of us may be called upon to take similar action. We are not merely along for the ride: we are part of the security system. While the TSA can be an easy target for our rage, we must accept some responsibility ourselves.

Meanwhile as the lines grow longer for the masses, airlines are rolling out more perks for those who have achieved the most elite status in their frequent flier programs. As the New York Times reports:

“Members at these levels, in addition to getting bragging rights, might be offered free access to airport clubs and automatic check-in, might get fees for extra bags waived, and might be allowed to go to the front of any line — and sit in the front of the cabin — even when other travelers paid more for their tickets.

Once inside those airline clubs, these elite fliers can get free cocktails and buffet meals, perhaps a shower, and in the case of some Delta clubs, practice time on putting greens.”

I have no issue with those who rack up buckets of miles getting extra benefits. Flying enough to get to that status takes a toll on the body, mind, home life, and more so a couple of free cocktails is small compensation. What bothers me is that these additional perks seem to come at the expense of even minimal levels of service in the main cabin. I don’t begrudge anyone their pass to the Red Carpet Club unless it comes at the expense of my on-board pillow. (Full disclosure: I have enjoyed elite status with various airlines from time to time though because of my varied travel schedule and preference for direct, non-stop flights as well as an editorial interest in sampling various carriers, hotels, car rental companies, etc.,  I’m not a mile slut who will do whatever it takes to get the most miles on a single airline. I generally fly steerage plus domestically).

One of my hopes for 2010 is that frequent flier programs get more rational. For example, the airlines shouldn’t encourage everyone who flies to become a member (it’s expensive to maintain those memberships and people who fly only a few flights a year won’t earn any free travel). Set a threshold for membership. This is what we did when I helped launch the first retail frequent buyer program (Mark Cross Preferred around 1984) and the threshold helped ensure that only frequent buyers were in the program and allowed us to make the benefits more generous because we avoided the expense of tracking purchases of occasional customers.

Second, the programs need to wean themselves from the sale of miles to be “given away” through marginally related third parties (like credit card companies). I know that the airlines like the cash as it helps them to offer seats at below cost (this twisted business model is fodder for another post) but it pollutes (and dilutes the effectiveness of) the program by mixing those who actually fly frequently with those who buy groceries using their Delta Amex card so they can get a free flight once a year to see the grandchildren. Keep the mileage accumulating opportunities related to the behavior you hope to enourage.

Third, and this is really a combination of the first two: it’s time for a giant flush of the system because there are far more miles accumulated than there are seats to fulfill them. Thus we find airlines sending us catalogs through which one can buy cameras and televisions using miles. Get back to a point where those loyal fliers who can’t make it to the double-dip elite super status still have some chance of deriving actual benefits from the program.

But enough ranting. Let’s end 2009 on a high note. If you haven’t yet seen Up in the Air, the new film staring George Clooney as an uber-traveler, fly on down to the nearest theater and grab a seat on the aisle. It’s well-written, well-acted, and quite thought provoking. And Vera Farmiga is a shoo-in for the Academy Award for best shot involving a neck tie. It might even encourage a resurgence in men’s neckwear (though perhaps more as lingerie then office attire).

Happy New Year! See you in the 10.

Photo: George Clooney in Up in the Air.

Increasingly, there are options — if you are willing to pay for them, according to the New York Times. More and more airlines are offering exit rows, aisle seats, and “extra legroom” seats for a price.  Reported fees range from $5 – $100+ depending on the airline. If you have elite frequent flier status, you may even be able to do it for free.

I’m have mixed feelings about this trend: as I am 6’3″+, I feel like some coach seats should be outlawed on humanitarian grounds and think that all seats should have more room (I used to have a fair amount of success just asking — OK, begging — for a more spacious seat at check-in but no longer); on the other hand, if I can ensure a bit more room for a few bucks, it is money well spent.

My biggest objection is when these are fees and not baked into the ticket price making it tougher for business travelers to be reimbursed for this minimal upgrade. At $5, it’s no big deal but at $50 or $100 each way, that’s a significant amount out of my pocket when, in truth, one of the main benefits of the extra space is having enough room to get some work done.

I’ve long advocated for extra charges for exit row seats but my objective, and model, is quite different: I think that the airlines should offer paid training in emergency procedures and those who successfully complete that training should qualify for preferred seating in those rows. They are, after all, emergency exits.  I think that a program that offers a few hours of hands-on experience opening those exits, maneuvering the doors, and sliding down the chutes would be valuable to everyone in the event of an emergency.

Of course the airlines are more interested in revenue than safety. The Times reports that Jet Blue will generate $65 million in revenue from its extra legroom seats this year. Jet Blue has a special section at the front of the plane dubbed “Even More Legroom” seats so that revenue is not based entirely on exit rows.

I also object to aisle positions being part of the fee-for-seat bazaar. Please (baby, please) leave some luck-based option for those of us with long legs.

One test that I’d like to see if a middle seat discount. What if the basic ticket price is $X and upon learning that you, sigh, only have middle seat options you are given a $10 instant rebate on the flight? That intervention might take some of the sting out of it. Harrah’s, the casino folks, has done research and found that if they artfully  interrupt a customer having a bad string of luck on a slot machine by presenting a food certificate (with the suggestion that the unlucky person take a break), the person is much more likely to return to the casino again. It’s the good luck fairy in action — and we could all use a bit more good luck when booking flights

I also rely on www.seatguru.com to help me find the best seats whenever I fly though I have to say that I find that the airlines are increasingly restrictive in letting me choose a seat when I book (unless it is a full fare flight) so the knowledge derived from seatguru can’t always be applied.

What’s your experience? Do you have any tips or tricks to share with your fellow Nomads?

I was a sound sleep. Suddenly I woke to a voice on the public address system: “Morning, folks. This is your captain speaking. We’re No. 4 for takeoff, up near the end of the runway. So if you’ll just sit back and relax, we’ll be taking off in a few minutes. The flight attendants will do the best they can for you this morning, even though they are one short in the second cabin.”

Safe travels and a happy Thanksgiving to Nomads everywhere.

My first response when a delay looks lengthy enough to stretch overnight: book a hotel room. The airline may or may not provide a room and I’d rather have the comfort of certainty that relying on their largesse. If your expense account won’t support another night at the hotel, you’ll want to check out Sleeping In Airports.

On shorter delays, diversions can generally be had though among my first steps is to get food — you don’t want to be stuck later on.  I found a lovely day spa at JFK in New York while in the midst of a circuitous route between Boston and London. I’ve also slipped in for a road rub in Denver and you can find a range of airport spas here.

The good people at Travel & Leisure have documented some of the most unusual airport attractions (from free Sony PlayStation kiosks — Paris — to Asia’s largest 4D projection facility — Hong Kong — and dentists — Sao Paolo) which can provide an alternative from shopping, drinking, and rereading the day’s paper. We’ve also heard reports about free foot massages at the Singapore airport (could be worth the delay!) and free trips to mini-visits to town for passengers in transit. Stuck at Dulles? The Smithsonian’s National Air & Space Museum extension, the Steven F. Udvar-Hazy Center, is a short (and cheap) bus ride away.

What are your favorite tips, hidden gems, and engaging diversions while in between flights or otherwise stuck at the airport?